HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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