Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
