I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
