I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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