Christians are straight up FREAKS
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
