Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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