Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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