Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
