he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
