I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
