I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
