dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i dont even know how to be here
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
