I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
