I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
