are you still at the devil's house?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
