Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize