I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Randomize
