I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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