xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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