so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
