i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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