hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
