hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
