I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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