If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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