IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
