Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
