What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
