I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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