He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
