chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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