Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm bleeding and have questions
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
