kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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