i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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