I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
