I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
