try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
