I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
