drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Randomize
