i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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