Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
