so explain again why im purple
no
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
