i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Randomize