Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
