we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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