There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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