She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
