she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
