is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I FOUND THE LEGS
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
