It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
