If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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