So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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