Soap is not a condiment
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
