Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
