i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
